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Evergreens surround your house,
a fortress wall heavy with snow.
In black recesses I wade,
the snow bounds off the branches
finds bare ankles inside my boots,
my hair, a teaspoon down my collar.
I approach your home
to find windows boarded and
roof patched.
You are dying there,
heaving, uneven breaths,
a fortress with no treasure
except silence
and blue light reflecting
off white.
The grimy sky hovers,
its cold rolling in.
We wait.
———-
On watching Bonni.
Solemn, yet beautiful. May you find strength during this difficult time.
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Thank you.
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I’ve just been through this and poetry is such a helpful way to deal with it. Yours really creates intense feeling through those small details.
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Thank you. You have so much insight on this part of life. It is newer to me.
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I hope it will be gentle for you. It is never easy and, really, it is never over.
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That is what I am learning. Again. Thanks for your good care.
>
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Dearest friend – I wish you all sorts of peace and comfort. Not sure what is up? Don’t want to pry… But love to you.
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Thank you so much. My step-sister passed away last week. Very complicated, but mostly sad. Thanks for your support and kind words.
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Oh – I’m so sorry for your loss. Love and light to you.
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Thank you!
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you use well-chosen sensory details (snow on ankles, down the collar) to set the scene for the readers. i hope you don’t think that my comments on the craft in the poem mean that i don’t feel the sadness and loss it portrays. but it’s your craft that, for instance, provides the stark last line which is so powerfully expressive. i am sorry to read of your loss.
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Thank you. I never, ever mind your thoughtful and knowledgeable comments about technique and structure. I need all the help I can get! And thank you for your kind thoughts. Ugh. It goes on. 🙂
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So stark, and yes the craft here reflects the sorrow. Hugs.
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Thank you. Hope you are well.
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Yes, thank you. Getting back into routine…
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