Evergreens surround your house,
a fortress wall heavy with snow.
In black recesses I wade,
the snow bounds off the branches
finds bare ankles inside my boots,
my hair, a teaspoon down my collar.
I approach your home
to find windows boarded and
roof patched.
You are dying there,
heaving, uneven breaths,
a fortress with no treasure
except silence
and blue light reflecting
off white.
The grimy sky hovers,
its cold rolling in.
We wait.
———-
On watching Bonni.
15 responses to “Last breaths”
Solemn, yet beautiful. May you find strength during this difficult time.
Thank you.
I’ve just been through this and poetry is such a helpful way to deal with it. Yours really creates intense feeling through those small details.
Thank you. You have so much insight on this part of life. It is newer to me.
I hope it will be gentle for you. It is never easy and, really, it is never over.
That is what I am learning. Again. Thanks for your good care.
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Dearest friend – I wish you all sorts of peace and comfort. Not sure what is up? Don’t want to pry… But love to you.
Thank you so much. My step-sister passed away last week. Very complicated, but mostly sad. Thanks for your support and kind words.
Oh – I’m so sorry for your loss. Love and light to you.
Thank you!
you use well-chosen sensory details (snow on ankles, down the collar) to set the scene for the readers. i hope you don’t think that my comments on the craft in the poem mean that i don’t feel the sadness and loss it portrays. but it’s your craft that, for instance, provides the stark last line which is so powerfully expressive. i am sorry to read of your loss.
Thank you. I never, ever mind your thoughtful and knowledgeable comments about technique and structure. I need all the help I can get! And thank you for your kind thoughts. Ugh. It goes on. 🙂
So stark, and yes the craft here reflects the sorrow. Hugs.
Thank you. Hope you are well.
Yes, thank you. Getting back into routine…