Poems from in between

(upon learning of a friend’s violent death)

i

allow me to pause
to rearrange my heart,
its sinews, tissue,
the rhythm it takes
while I walk this street

now, all making way
for a new configuration
you being gone
in an instant, in the heat
of that strangling hour

give me some time
yet to enfold you
in new and unwelcome form
to embrace, know, feel,
be part of your moment

allow it to extend
its precious grip
deep into my heart,
transform it, perhaps
teach it a new meter

it must be measured,
my heart must rearrange

ii

you would have sobbed,
choked for mercy, I know
because I hear you now

as the night slowly beckons
we seek a sleepy forgetfulness,
blinding silence

but I hear you now
with your refusing,
startled whimpers,

an infant in betrayal
innocence spilling from you
as all the world unravels

my heart must rearrange
I ask for time

iii

let us consider
kindness now in all
its strident powers

let us dwell
in its sanctuary, dare to sip
its healing waters

let us imagine the time
when two poorly fitted souls
met eye to eye to find welcome

within the garden
of kindness,
draw from that moment

awakening
I pray my heart
arranges to your new rhythm