Poems from in between

by Jenifer Cartland

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Prayer

(upon learning of a friend’s violent death)

i

allow me to pause
to rearrange my heart,
its sinews, tissue,
the rhythm it takes
while I walk this street

now, all making way
for a new configuration
you being gone
in an instant, in the heat
of that strangling hour

give me some time
yet to enfold you
in new and unwelcome form
to embrace, know, feel,
be part of your moment

allow it to extend
its precious grip
deep into my heart,
transform it, perhaps
teach it a new meter

it must be measured,
my heart must rearrange

ii

you would have sobbed,
choked for mercy, I know
because I hear you now

as the night slowly beckons
we seek a sleepy forgetfulness,
blinding silence

but I hear you now
with your refusing,
startled whimpers,

an infant in betrayal
innocence spilling from you
as all the world unravels

my heart must rearrange
I ask for time

iii

let us consider
kindness now in all
its strident powers

let us dwell
in its sanctuary, dare to sip
its healing waters

let us imagine the time
when two poorly fitted souls
met eye to eye to find welcome

within the garden
of kindness,
draw from that moment

awakening
I pray my heart
arranges to your new rhythm

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18 responses to “Prayer”

  4. So I read this Saturday evening. And cried. And thought about it all night. And still am feeling short of words, except that it is beautiful and heartbreaking. (The shift from 5-line stanzas to the “new meter” of 3-line stanzas, oh wow.) I will continue to ponder these words, especially:

    let us consider
    kindness now in all
    its strident powers

    (Hugs)

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    • Thanks for being willing to go there with me. I hesitated to post this because it is so very raw. But I do hope poetry can hold that, along with our happier and more refined thoughts. For sure, we need it to!

      It has been a tough and pretty shocking few days. I am sure more of this will need to be sorted and written about as time passes.

      Thanks for the support! You are always listening.

      Sent from my iPhone >

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  5. Jennifer–this touched so deeply into the heart of grief. If I still worked in hospice, I would want to copy it for some of the families going through bereavement. Poetry is a very healing arr at the time of loss. This stanza, especially, got to me:

    allow it to extend
    its precious grip
    deep into my heart,
    transform it, perhaps
    teach it a new meter

    Liked by 1 person

    Reply

    • It means so much that you said this, Victoria. Sometimes life just says ‘Do poetry now!’ because it is the only way out. So grateful to have it and to have sympathetic companions, like you. Peace —

      Liked by 1 person

      Reply

    • Thank you. This is pretty close to the bone, so thanks for sticking with it. I am looking forward to seeing what perspective feels like. Best —

      Sent from my iPhone

      >

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