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My muscles tear for you,
infinitely small and subtle,
healing and tearing again.
In time, I am bent to fit you,
my edges sanding down, curves
softening, wrapping through yours,
less opposite, more flexible,
able to twist with your twistings,
sigh with your sighs,
wonder with your wonderings —
a multitudinous one.
I dissolve, I bend, I become.
Wow, what an opening, and I love the shifting visuals of the second and third stanzas.
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Thank you. Would like your thoughts: keep the fourth stanza or not? I was tempted to delete it, but the poem did not feel finished without it. I went back and forth …. ?
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Since you ask, I think “sigh with your sighs” would be a fantastic ending. I think it does leave things not perfectly tied-off, but I like that; in the sense of the poem, the speaker continues to change and evolve, so an “unfinished” feeling works. 🙂
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Thanks for your honesty. Let’s go with that then. Maybe I can edit the post so that others can see it both ways. Thanks again!
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The “Twist”, “sigh”, “wonder” part was amazing. The whole piece is fantastic really. One of my favorite pieces of yours.
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Thank you! So good to hear. What do you think about dropping the fourth stanza? Jennifer Knoblock and I were discussing (above) whether it should stay. Would love your thoughts.
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I would definitely keep the last stanza. Like you said, it feels most complete with it. If you were to drop it you would just have to replace it with something else, I think. But I love the opening of that stanza and the whole thing really works. I love the poem as is.
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I once heard about a musical score that was spiral bound. And at the beginning of the concert, the pianist was to throw it up in to air and begin playing on whatever page landed on top. Should poetry work like that? I sometimes wonder.
Thanks so much for your feedback and your encouragement!
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I think it can work like that. I know David Bowie wrote some of his lyrics like that before and other poets and writers have. It’s definitely interesting.
You’re welcome. Hope you’re having a great week so far!
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