Poems from in between

by Jenifer Cartland

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Four haiku on the August garden

I.

Four white roses bud
in the scorching August sun
with care, confidence.

II.

The sun loots our patch
in its hegemonic rage.
We defend this space.

III.

Rain, drench us through.
The heat swells, crackles, moans —
grant your persuasion.

IV.

Four white roses bud
in the soulless August sun,
pressing their case.

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7 responses to “Four haiku on the August garden”

    • Thank you! I was sorry to see you will be writing less poetry — but we all need creative renewal. Looking forward to what we see from you next! Thanks again for your encouragement.

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  3. Well…..somehow, I’ve never meandered through your site. I don’t know how that can be? I just found your lovely commet about my Low Tide Morning (will respond there) and came to your site. Your site is beautiful and this set of haiku are wonderful. I am very very new to writing poetry (February), and newer still to blogging (March) — which perhaps explains my indelicacy in not finding your site before. Will be following for sure.
    Back to this set of haiku. As someone else mentioned, I particularly love how this ends — with the circle back to the first haiku. It lends a sense of completeness to the set — ties it together so that it is much more than a “set” of haiku. I’ve only done a few of these — and I think what is most difficult about haiku or tanka is to “hide the form”. In other words, have them read easily (yep, ole communications person that I am, I always read poetry aloud – mine too, before I post it). The form seems to “stick out” in so many because we work so hard to put the words together for sense but prioritizing syllables. You’ve done that beautifully here — the words roll right through the form and give a message. Really wonderfully done.
    I shall enjoy reading more now….and maybe see you for coffee in the mornings! 🙂
    lillian

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    • This is extremely kind of you. So glad we can keep up with each other’s work.

      You know, I never thought of haiku and tanka writing as you have suggested, but your training gives you a sharp lens and gets to the heart of it. I always like to try to put some ‘air’ in these small poems. It is very hard to do, following the rules and having a very short form. But otherwise they feel very claustrophobic and rigid. I wrote a tanka a day in April and I am still in recovery, though. Feeling very confused right now about the form. But I guess that is the learning process.

      Thanks again for reaching out. Looking forward to seeing what is next on your blog!!

      Sent from my iPhone

      >

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      • Must have been for NaPoWriMo? Whew…can’t imagine limiting myself to the tanka form for an entire day. I was just reading about that form the other day….What I find intriguing, besides the sylllable requirement, is the “shift” in perspective that’s supposed to happen in the third line. Challenging indeed. I just wrote my first one the other day….yet to be posted. It’s “marinating” in my notebook….will get back to it to see if I’m still satisfied with it.
        So nice to see you here over my morning coffee! 🙂

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